god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
