I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
