hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
