Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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