what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
