I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Congratulations! We have a period
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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