You made me cry and you don't even care
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
