we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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