I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
