I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
