Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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