I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
