Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
