HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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