I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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