My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just forgot I was standing up.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
