Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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