Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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