i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
