I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
