Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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