I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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