i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
