If i come over, it means nothing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
