Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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