Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
