It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you had me at cake vodka
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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