That's intense
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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