Ambien. No doubt about it.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I touched a dick in church today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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