you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
