I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
