Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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