How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
