I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
