a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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