they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
