I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Everclear isn't food dammit
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
