i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
