look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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