...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
