The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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