She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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