she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
