I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
