Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
