One girl and one boy is just not enough.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
