i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
