i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
