Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
