you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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