TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Operation Purity has been aborted
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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