i just had sex bonerless
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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