I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
